tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2839358477265144981.post5208267432008058766..comments2023-08-27T04:09:32.308-07:00Comments on Watching waves : Keeping personal power ...Rose - Watching Waveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08753071639280850781noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2839358477265144981.post-81761396205116504832008-10-09T01:10:00.000-07:002008-10-09T01:10:00.000-07:00"We do not see others as they are, we see others a..."We do not see others as they are, we see others as WE are. - Anais Nin<BR/><BR/><BR/>I live this today. I no longer allow other people's opinion of who I am, how I should speak, how I should act, how I should dream affect me. But as life is, even those who are nearest and dearest to us can say the most hurtful words in the peak of n argument. Like what happened just a few weeks ago between my <BR/>eldest son and me. <BR/><BR/>I was stunned that he could say something so hurtful( he referred to me as a "drama queen" - among other things). <BR/>I took a moment to breath and just be quiet. Then I turned my back and walked away. <BR/><BR/>In my younger days, I would have run him down with chastisement. It took all my strength to just be silent. A mean word from a stranger is something I can deal with, but when something hurtful comes from someone you love, that is the ultimate gravest pain.<BR/><BR/>He came to me after an hour and sincerely apologized.I told him I understood, but needed a day, perhaps two, to just be quietly by myself and so he must not take it wrongly if I were not as attentive to him. By this I wanted him to understand that words, though just mere puffs from our vocal chords, create or destroy people. He got the lesson.<BR/><BR/>I grew up in a town where people whispered about me and talked about me for being different. My playmates bullied and laughed at me,I was called all sorts of different names. I was the ultimate ugly among uglies. I believed everything they all said.<BR/><BR/>It took the genuine kindness of one friend to make me realize how special and beautiful I am inside. Eventually, I married that friend. <BR/><BR/>Everything you wrote here is true. It is how we perceive ourselves that define who we really are. And we do wield the power to be the greatest of what we can be. <BR/><BR/><BR/>ps: sorry this comment is long and seems to be centered on myself. Your post made me recall a few things from my past.Lady Prismhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04333352060797182573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2839358477265144981.post-4956842632005335752008-10-08T14:38:00.000-07:002008-10-08T14:38:00.000-07:00I love you, Sister Rose. More than you'll ever kn...I love you, Sister Rose. More than you'll ever know.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2839358477265144981.post-30428054789346787462008-10-08T00:35:00.000-07:002008-10-08T00:35:00.000-07:00Rose, as always, love your thoughtful post. I nev...Rose, as always, love your thoughtful post. <BR/><BR/>I never dealt with bullying as a kid, but like anyone else, I do sometimes encounter bullies as an adult. You are so right...they are much more insidious in some ways. Not all are as freakishly direct as your bicyle dude. (What was up with THAT?) I find the "mean girls" are especially adept at sugar coating their approach as adults. SOme are insecure but I often seem to attract hypercompetitive women and I have actually been doing some self-reflection about what I might be doing that makes these women seek me out. Because it happens more than it should.<BR/><BR/>Anyway...back to bullying. I am all about not giving away my power in life, but I also believe people treat you the way you allow them to. You still have to stand firm on how you will let people treat you, or you set up bad, sometimes perpetual cycles. <BR/><BR/>I encourage my kids to stay calm and in control, but to look the offender in the eye and say, "enough". (I'm paraphrasing). I'll also be the first to tell you that I'd be proud of my kids if after repeated civil attempts to get a bully to stop, they hauled off and punched them! :-)Amber Cargilehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00254241543896488112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2839358477265144981.post-43025604673574784902008-10-07T14:24:00.000-07:002008-10-07T14:24:00.000-07:00Ann - The world needs more peace energy, not viole...Ann - The world needs more peace energy, not violence. That's great that you're teaching your son not to respond with violence, if possible. I love the example of Kwai Chang Caine from Kung Fu. <BR/><BR/>Kat - I love the added question! I don't understand why anyone would "own" someone else's garbage.Rose - Watching Waveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08753071639280850781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2839358477265144981.post-6880214935278031472008-10-07T00:26:00.000-07:002008-10-07T00:26:00.000-07:00Rose...We have handled bullies much the same way i...Rose...We have handled bullies much the same way in this house. With an added question...is the person who bullied someone you admire for any reason? No? Than why do you let their opinion matter. <BR/>Physical abuse is a whole nother ball game. Zero tolerance means just that. My mama bear comes out.<BR/>Im not going to stalk down anyone with a baseball bat but I am going to report and hope that justice is served.<BR/>PG...you are beautiful inside and out! I remember the mean girls...I prefered my own company to theirs. Me and my books were very happy together. lol!Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05997556442808073462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2839358477265144981.post-49343334055778397162008-10-06T08:59:00.000-07:002008-10-06T08:59:00.000-07:00My son was bullied during his nursery school days ...My son was bullied during his nursery school days and it pains me so much to see his pain. He was even hurt once and I have to go to the Guidance Office to complain. Inasmuch as I don't like my son to be bullied I also do not want him to learn how to hurt another person even if it is just for self-defense because he might get used to it.Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00545976355145526983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2839358477265144981.post-52994366884818109812008-10-06T08:29:00.000-07:002008-10-06T08:29:00.000-07:00I'm so sorry that you're still carrying that remar...I'm so sorry that you're still carrying that remark around, PG, and that it's still so sticky for you. You know it ain't true; you are beautiful. Let those words "You are beautiful" stick to you instead and release the other remarks. They just aren't your truth and they don't belong to you.Rose - Watching Waveshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08753071639280850781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2839358477265144981.post-76601387545259007572008-10-06T05:59:00.000-07:002008-10-06T05:59:00.000-07:00This is a wonderful philosophy, but I think it's d...This is a wonderful philosophy, but I think it's dependent on your personality how easily you could implement it. <BR/>To someone who takes things in and mulls over them, it would be more difficult to ignore a bully's remarks. I still ache from an 8th grade girl telling me I was ugly while in junior high.<BR/>If you can teach your granddaughter to stay detached in those kind of circumstances, that would be a good life skill to have.<BR/>Thought provoking, Rose!paintergalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04477665489782815526noreply@blogger.com