Rainbows and angels

I start to awaken and, as is my practice, with my eyes still closed, I give thanks for the comfort of my bed, for the shelter of my home, for the dreams I had during the night, for my sheets, blankets, pillows, for a restful night’s sleep. I open my eyes and, as I do every morning, I look toward the window where my liquid amber guardian tree stands directly outside my window with all the other trees beyond. The leaves are changing now, losing their green and turning into big leaves of golden yellow. Something on the ceiling catches my eye … and I smile. Rainbows! There are rainbows scattered everywhere in my room: splashed across the ceiling in tightly colored, long, narrow bars; brilliant red, bright orange, vivid yellow, soothing green, deep blue. More are splotched on the closet curtains, but these are refracted from the mirror and are bigger and looser, gentler-colored. I lift and drop the blankets to make a slight breeze and the rainbows start dancing all around, rainbows on walls, furniture, ceiling; so magical!

I hang crystals in the windows of my living room and bedroom. Pollyanna was one of my favorite movies growing up and inspired me to hang the prisms years ago. During the spring and summer months, they’re just a bit of sparkle. But when the sun starts to hang lower toward the south in the fall and winter, its rays can enter the windows directly and hit the the prisms, which explode into brightly colored rainbows in my rooms.

This afternoon, vibrantly colored rainbows were streaked across the living room walls, floor and furniture. When my granddaughters were little, I’d tell them that the rainbows were angels come to play and to bring us love, blessings and happiness. My little grand-girls would dance and laugh in the rainbows or they’d chase and try to catch them if the prisms were moving from the breeze made by their play. Even now, when they see the rainbows in my home, they remember the angels. I do, too.

Lying in bed the other morning, with the colors all around me, I raised my legs overhead to practice the physical therapy exercises I do for my healing ankle (fractured several months ago). I see a rainbow on my ankle as I go through the exercises and I feel that angels are blessing the work, blessing the healing. Silly for a grown woman (a grandmother) to think such things, but I believe in magical things, in angels and blessings and healing powers. As a young woman, I wouldn’t dare share such nonsense with others; what would people think? Thankfully, I’m at an age where I can be a silly old grandmother less concerned about others’ judgments … and I can believe in angels in the rainbows.

Have a sparkly day!

winter's light ...

Winter's light slants in through my bedroom window, suffusing the walls and the room in a surreal golden glow. This is one of my favorite times of day in the winter, shortly before the sun ends her day's journey by dropping into the Pacific Ocean, lingering above the waves, then - with a flash! - dropping gently over the horizon.

I was recently donating blood at the nearby park and I looked east out the window as I was lying there. I gazed at the distinctive bark of the tree outside, really studying its peeling beauty, when suddenly the tree became bathed in gold from the west. The nurse was looking the opposite direction, out the front doors facing west and she dreamily said "I love this time of day ... the way the day turns to gold." I turned to look at her and her entire face and body were washed in light as she faced the sun's glow.

In the spring and summer, the sun sits high overhead and my entire courtyard is bright and sunny. In the fall, as the sun moves lower toward the equator, the angle is entirely different. The courtyard falls into shadow, blocked by the buildings, the sunlight too low now to rise above them.

Instead of bold, confident sunshine, we get this moodier, more nuanced light, a gift of winter that makes me pause and be still, be aware. The lower light hits the prisms hanging in the south-facing windows, throwing dancing colors around the rooms. The sun, too high in the summer, only dances the rainbows like this in fall and winter.

Spring and summer are often raucous affairs, with birds singing, flowers blooming, summer parties; everything wildly alive. But fall and winter are gentler, quieter, giving us pause for reflection ... a break from the liveliness of the other two seasons ... passive yin to active yang ... the duality of nature in perfect balance, inviting us to slow down and rest a bit, like all in nature does at this time. She is ever the perfect teacher.

Winter's light slants through my windows and I pause and give thanks.

the breath of heaven ...

Merry Christmas from Huntington Beach, California! Doing a little reading this morning, I felt the ocean breeze gently stir in the room, lightly lifting the filmy sheers at my bedroom window. The sun's rays caught the little mirrors and prisms in the window and cast dancing rainbows around the room, colors twinkling on walls and surfaces. I put down my reading and just watched. The air across my skin and the scattering rainbows just made me feel so filled with love and the magic of Christmas and the miracle of His birth!

The following is edited from last year's December 17, 2006 post:

Advent always draws me to Mary, a young Jewish girl in Nazareth, raised in a good Jewish family, betrothed to a good Jewish man. The stories of Mary were written long after she'd crossed over, long after the events of her life had transpired. There were no reporters to relate her story as it unfolded, no paparazzi snapping away. So my beliefs about those times may not be entirely factual, but they are beliefs of the heart, of what I believe are the intents of the Nativity story.

What must life have been like for this young girl, Mary, anticipating her marriage to Joseph, looking forward to a normal Jewish life with him, raising kids, working, all the normal family things? She was about 15, maybe younger. Then an angel appears to her and tells her that she is to have a child - without having been with a man - and not any child, but the long-awaited Messiah. Faithfulness and prayer was much different then than today, but this would surely have given any young girl pause, to have at least raised questions on her part, possibly denial that such a thing could occur. How many of us - in the circumstances of those times - would have thought "thanks, but no thanks?"

Mary does question, "How shall this be?" Then, her simple, faithful "Yes" - her most obedient response "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word’” (Luke 1:38) - shows a complete trust in the Lord, her embrace of God's call for her to change everything she'd planned for her life and to obey God's word without question.

Mary's response inspires me to try to live my life with complete trust in God and in His plan for my life. My Advent journey each year provides a glorious opportunity for reflection and renewal, a special time set aside for just such contemplation on how to live my life in a way that honors and glorifies.

The beautiful song Breath of Heaven reflects the awesomeness of Mary's response to the angel, her fiat. Mary questions God, asking him if He's really quite sure she's right for the job, if perhaps "a wiser one should have had my place?" Faithfully, she responds: "But I offer all I am/for the mercy of your plan" and she asks Him for His help, knowing the difficulties that lay ahead of her:

"Help me be strong ...
Help me be ...
Help me ..."

A prayer any believer can pray any day, any time, looking to our faith (in whatever very personal way that means to each of us) to sustain us, to help us be.

Tomorrow, Advent's quiet season of prayer-filled waiting and reflective contemplation culminates in the joy of blessed Christmas. Lord, let it be me to me according to your word, and help me to develop complete trust and faith in you in all things, just as Mary did. Emmanuel - God with us!

Namaste

shifts and changes ... part II

Around the end of July, I could already sense that there were shifts directly ahead in my life. Something in the air, in my spirit ... do you know the feeling? A sense of anticpation, a whiff of change, a slight thrill of expectation.

I'd felt a job change was imminent; I was working long days, accomplishing a lot, and although I loved the internal customers on whose behalf I worked, things just felt "off", out of alignment. Change came on August 13 when my position was eliminated and I was laid off. Change happens and we either chafe at it and shake our fists at the sky or we embrace it and see it as an opportunity. I'm a bit of a Polyanna ("Let's play the Glad Game!"), so I was actually excited to see what new opportunity lay ahead for me for the next phase of my career.

I really want to get back into Web/Interactive management; I find it so creative and challenging and I know the work so well. I am passionate about the customer experience and marketing results: how people interact with online media, how they make the choices they make as they use a Web site, is the information organized well? is the interface optimized for superior performance? are the buttons placed logically in a way most users have learned? are there any copy errors? (As a copywriter/editor, copy errors are a big pet peeve of mine. If a web site can't get something as simple as spelling correct, it impacts users' perceptions about the rest of the company and their product.)

There's another shift coming along: my daughter and son-in-law have bought their first home. Instead of being just 12 minutes from me, they'll soon be an hour away. Currently, I go visit with them and my granddaughters (mostly my granddaughters) every Tuesday. On Fridays, I take my granddaughters to dinner and we hang out afterward. On Sundays, it's church or breakfast. Things will be changing, but we'll find a way to still make the most of our time together. The new house is big and wonderful and move-in ready. Plus, it's an incredible buy and has stunning views of the lake and the mountains. I was close to tears with happiness for my daughter and her famly when we went to the new home for the inspection on Saturday. Their first home! Another shift for all of us ...

And now, the world itself is shifting, shifting into fall. What a wonderful time! After the excitement and activity of the summer, we pause and breathe, slowing down as nature adjusts her tempo and we take notice of the changing temperatures, the changing light. I have crystals hanging in my living room window (another Polyanna idea!). When fall comes and the sun shifts down toward the equator instead of being directly overhead, the rays hit the prisms and rainbows dance all over my living floor and walls. When the girls were younger, I'd tell them the rainbows were angels come to play. "Look, Nana! There's an angel on your arm!" they'd laugh delightedly. The sun also comes through the narrow sidelight in my entry, casting an eerie, comforting light in the entry area. Change is in the air. Do you feel it?