talking to my self ...

Randy Pausch's body could no longer sustain life and so he left it and crossed over this week. Thank you, Randy, for showing and sharing so generously what you've learned on your journey.

Last year, I first learned of and watched his "Last Lecture", as so many others have; like others, I've watched it many times since. I've read several articles and watched Diane Sawyer's special with Randy and his wife, Jai. Although his body was being killed by pancreatic cancer, he was one of the healthiest of people, with wisdom, grace, dreams, spirit, acceptance, understanding and love to sustain him.

He had an incredibly graceful acceptance of the situation and was even able to find the humor and irony in this life transition. We all go through many trials in our lifetimes. We get sick, experience great loss, have our dreams shattered. Some people become destroyed by their sorrows; others become stronger, learning the lessons and moving forward with greater knowledge and awareness and new skills for coping with the vagaries of life.

How do we cope with such things? I remember on the Diane Sawyer interview, being impressed at how Randy's wife, Jai, told of sometimes drifting down into the sorrow of the situation and then stopping herself with a quick and effective "Not helpful."

"Not helpful." Two short words, but with so much meaning. Jai would use those two words almost as an automatic reflex, drawing herself back from the edge of despair because there was nothing helpful or positive or encouraging in that darkness. Self-talk often helps us get through trying circumstances. Helpful words to encourage our selves or to prevent us from negativity.

"Not helpful." I think many of us have phrases, self-talk, mantras, prayers, sayings that we repeat to ourselves, sometimes reflexively.

Mine include:

Receive what you have been given (to rremind me to accept and embrace my circumstances)

I have everything I need (a good reminder to have a grateful heart)

Everything's temporary (things pass us quickly, both the good and the bad)

Everything always works out (one of my personal favorites because it's absolutely true. It may not work out the way I want it, but it always works out nonetheless)

I am perfect just the way I am (a phrase given to me by a friend)

Five years from now, no one will really care about this (a reminder when I'm tempted to work much too late)

Do only positive things (this one got me through the first few months after my husband left)

Not helpful (I find Jai's phrase incredibly useful in many situations)

And one of my favorite meditations when I'm forgetting to connect with the Divine within:

Be still and know that I am God

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know

Be still

Be

What phrases, self-talk or thoughts help you connect to the center of your self and get you through the tough times?