Friday, May 8, 2009
Without a doubt ...
It’s after 1am. Very quiet outside as I sit at my desk by the window. A helicopter flying overhead. The trickle of the fountain next door. These are the only sounds.
Then a cool breeze comes in through the window, brushing against my arms, wrapping around my legs, brushing through my hair, enveloping me in the night air from my head to my feet. Instinctively, I say “thank you, Father,” instinctively because it is naturally on my lips several times a day. “Thank you, Father.”
I pause and feel the embrace and allow the presence of the Divine to fill me in the quiet night. I feel Love envelop me. I feel Peace. I feel wholeness and completeness. I feel Grace. It’s good to just sit and absorb the sensation. Sitting in that space between heaven and earth, sensing that I’m a part of each, partly here, partly there.
Why is it that I have such a trusting faith? Why do I accept without question the presence of the Divine? Do you ever ask yourself those questions? I sometimes wonder where faith comes from. I don’t question at all whether the Divine exists; there is not the tiniest sliver of a doubt in my being that the Divine exists for me. But why am I so absolutely sure?
I’m not very Bible-smart; my faith doesn’t come just from the Good Book. There are so many interpretations and translations, words written for a specific time and place and audience and socio-political system. To honor those words and the Gospel message, they must be taken in context and not blindly applied without a full understanding and study.
So why do I accept without question the existence of God? I can be a doubting Thomas in many areas of life; I’m meticulous about getting the facts straight. Every chain e-mail is checked on Snopes. I check spelling on dictionary.com if I have the slightest doubt. As a QA Manager, my job was to verify and validate software requirements. “Trust, but verify.” And yet, without any empirical evidence to prove it, I believe fully and completely in the Divine … just on faith. If you’re a believer, do you ever wonder what it is that gives you that faith?
I believe we are each called to have our very own intimate relationship with the Divine … or not. That's between you and the Divine. Each of us has a different relationship; like snowflakes, no two are alike. I cannot tell you what to believe; I can only share what I believe. I don’t know your journey, your life experience, the way the Lord touches you in your soul. You own that, not me. I stay on my own mat. Whether you have a belief in the Divine or not is your personal journey.
Britt-Arnhild, who has a most wonderful and enriching blog, asked recently “What is your God like?” My answer:
My God is beyond definition, beyond boundaries! Wild, Alive, Joyful, Chaotic (God has no limits, after all), Light and Love, Wonder and Beauty. My God is not human, my God has no gender, but is pure in spirit. My God is the Divine that I see in all things and the Divine spirit I see within me.
My God is the breeze that floated in the office window right now on a cool, dark night and touched me with Love. I’ll go to sleep happy and content, trusting and at peace.
Love and Trust photos from Tracy