Friday, May 8, 2009

Without a doubt ...

It’s after 1am. Very quiet outside as I sit at my desk by the window. A helicopter flying overhead. The trickle of the fountain next door. These are the only sounds.

Then a cool breeze comes in through the window, brushing against my arms, wrapping around my legs, brushing through my hair, enveloping me in the night air from my head to my feet. Instinctively, I say “thank you, Father,” instinctively because it is naturally on my lips several times a day. “Thank you, Father.”

I pause and feel the embrace and allow the presence of the Divine to fill me in the quiet night. I feel Love envelop me. I feel Peace. I feel wholeness and completeness. I feel Grace. It’s good to just sit and absorb the sensation. Sitting in that space between heaven and earth, sensing that I’m a part of each, partly here, partly there.

Why is it that I have such a trusting faith? Why do I accept without question the presence of the Divine? Do you ever ask yourself those questions? I sometimes wonder where faith comes from. I don’t question at all whether the Divine exists; there is not the tiniest sliver of a doubt in my being that the Divine exists for me. But why am I so absolutely sure?

I’m not very Bible-smart; my faith doesn’t come just from the Good Book. There are so many interpretations and translations, words written for a specific time and place and audience and socio-political system. To honor those words and the Gospel message, they must be taken in context and not blindly applied without a full understanding and study.

So why do I accept without question the existence of God? I can be a doubting Thomas in many areas of life; I’m meticulous about getting the facts straight. Every chain e-mail is checked on Snopes. I check spelling on if I have the slightest doubt. As a QA Manager, my job was to verify and validate software requirements. “Trust, but verify.” And yet, without any empirical evidence to prove it, I believe fully and completely in the Divine … just on faith. If you’re a believer, do you ever wonder what it is that gives you that faith?

I believe we are each called to have our very own intimate relationship with the Divine … or not. That's between you and the Divine. Each of us has a different relationship; like snowflakes, no two are alike. I cannot tell you what to believe; I can only share what I believe. I don’t know your journey, your life experience, the way the Lord touches you in your soul. You own that, not me. I stay on my own mat. Whether you have a belief in the Divine or not is your personal journey.

Britt-Arnhild, who has a most wonderful and enriching blog, asked recently “What is your God like?” My answer:

My God is beyond definition, beyond boundaries! Wild, Alive, Joyful, Chaotic (God has no limits, after all), Light and Love, Wonder and Beauty. My God is not human, my God has no gender, but is pure in spirit. My God is the Divine that I see in all things and the Divine spirit I see within me.

My God is the breeze that floated in the office window right now on a cool, dark night and touched me with Love. I’ll go to sleep happy and content, trusting and at peace.

Love and Trust photos from Tracy


rebecca said...

Rose, you center me, you seriously do. And, boy, do I need that right now! I like the fact that you show your gratitude each day, throughout the day, by saying "Thank you Father." Personally, I've always preferred nights over days. My favorite time of the day is when I am finally in my own cozy bed, with the windows open letting the sounds of nature filter in and lull me to sleep. I like to read my favorite book and unwind. I've no tv nor radio here for I believe that we should all at least give ourselves some downtime each day from the noise of the world and give ourselves the opportunity to connect to that Divine of which you speak.

Like you, I question. Incessantly. If it does not make sense to me or you cannot give me hardcore facts, then I can't accept as truth. Yet, faith is a whole different thing, isn't it? Do I believe there is something greater than me? Absolutely. I've felt it in my very marrow at times in life when I have been at my lowest and needed "help" to overcome. Do I scientific proof that a higher power exists? No. But I believe. Because I.have.felt.its.blessed.presence. And, sometimes, that is all you need.

((hugs)) to you my friend and I have to make it a point to not stay away too long from this place of Grace of yours.

Anonymous said...

What a treat this morning. I came for some music, and was treated to a beautiful blog entry. "Thank you Father." I just read a devotional entry about faith before I checked in here, about Abraham who grew his faith in small steps, not leaps and bounds. Climbing a mountain with his idol son in his arms, filled with faith in the worst of situations. Peace to you today Rose! stewcarol

Rose - The Center of My Self said...

Thank you for those beautiful thoughts, Rebecca. "Thank you, Father" comes so naturally to me now for even the smallest things, like a full moon glowing overhead or a green light when I need to get somewhere. Nighttime is so delicious, isn't it? I don't have radio or TV in my bedroom, either.

Carol - You get it, too. :-D The fact that you read a devotional about faith before you visited would be a "thank you, Father" moment, too, perhaps? Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Kelee Katillac said...

Beautifully said as always.

I think the thank-you is the greatest expression consciousness-- to allow that there is presence and goodness all around us and as part of us. And that it is US and we are IT. The thank-you identifies us with the goodness and we become more of those characteristics....naturally lovely. Like you are!