Being the Pollyanna that I am (“let’s play the Glad Game!”), I simply don’t understand the depth of despair and darkness that one must be in to take one’s own life. What a horrible place to be in! Without hope that things will ever get better, in such mortal pain that even knowing that others will be enormously hurt by the act of suicide doesn’t dissuade the person from ending his or her life.
What makes the people of Haiti—many pulled from the rubble, many with amputated limbs, many with no homes or businesses to go to—what makes the Haitians able to continue to struggle on, even to sing as it’s been reported? What makes the Amish families who lost their daughters in a heartless massacre capable of not only coping, but to find forgiveness in their hearts and move on through the pain? What makes any of us reach the depths of despair … yet still trust that things will change, that we won’t always be in this dark place, that even in the worst of circumstances, there is still hope?
And yet others who appear to be in less dire circumstances (emphasizing appear) are incapable of coping and making it through to the next minute. What makes one person resilient and another person fall apart? If we only knew.
I can only sense that it must be beyond any pain that I can possibly imagine, a place where a person feels they have no other option left. My prayers go out to the Osmond and Koenig families as their hearts cry in sorrow for their losses. May grace and peace touch their hearts during this time.
7 comments:
I read once, and I think it is true, that the Divine is not met on the mountaintop as the stories suggest, but in the abyss. And if one does not meet the Divine in the abyss, then there is no hope and that person will be lost to suicide and despair.
That's such an interesting thought, Debra. The abyss must be such a cold and lonely place; it's where everything else is stripped away, so I can see how one would meet the Divine there, with nothing else to distract.
I wonder if I've been changed in the night? - Alice in Wonderland
Relates to the abyss, should be interesting. Depp is still Depp even if he's mad as a hatter.
Always grateful for your light, Rose.
Love,
T. (grinning like the Cheshire Cat)
You pose a great question. Looking back at those who survived the Nazi death camps the answer that came was those who believed they still had purpose are those who were able to survive and move forward. Many who died did so because they lost sight of their purpose and therefore felt they had nothing left to live for.
T - Good reference! Depp is always a draw for me!
Mark - So interesting! I was talking with a friend who's not in a good place and his refrain was "what's the point?" Ties into what you said about purpose and gives me more insight. Thank you!
Rose,
I started reading your blog a little while ago. I find your thoughts, and the way you express them, beautiful. I have been looking for more of your posts, but there's been nothing new for a while. Just wondering if everything is okay. Take care.
- L
I've no idea Rose. I often wonder the same myself. How bad can it be that you think that the only escape is permanent. I've been in very dark places many times in life due to losses but always, always I believed that if I stayed the course and was patient, that one day I would see light again. I guess with me it was all about faith and trusting that the world would eventually unfold to bless you with greatness again. Maybe this is what these poor souls lack. A sense of belief. I don't know...just thinking out loud.
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