Sunday, March 21, 2010

on acceptance …


“Receive what you are given.”

One of my yoga teachers, Peter, always had a way of saying things that resonated strongly with me. This was one of them, the idea of acceptance, of receiving both the good and the bad. I’ve meditated on this concept many, many times, unearthing its layers and meanings for my life. I use it several times a week to help guide me and my spirit with grace.

At my granddaughter’s softball game on Saturday, one of the parents complained to the coach that they’d only had one week to sell their fundraising items. The coach, of course, could do nothing about this, which the woman even acknowledged, but she went ahead and complained anyway. I thought it was pointless and felt that they were given a week; do the best that you can with it. And then contact the board and see how you can help next year to provide more time for fundraising. Complaining doesn’t change anything. The coach (who agreed with her) asked if anyone had had a chance to sell anything. My daughter said yes, she had. How much? he asked. “$180. And M (another mother) also sold $180.” Such a contrast: two mothers who received what they were given and moved with it in grace, doing what they could. Another mother who got aggravated and became immobilized in her aggravation as a result.

I’ve always said that if you become stuck in traffic, you have two choices: You can either get angry, honk your horn and yell at other drivers … or you can turn on the radio and sing. (Guess which one I am – lol!)

Yesterday morning, I had an appointment for my 2002 Civic’s 110,000 mile service. It has 132,000 miles but I couldn’t get the service (over $1000; timing belt and other major service) done previously when I was unemployed so I was happy I was finally going to get it done. As I headed out to my appointment, I immediately knew something was wrong: I had a flat. I drove the few houses back home and called the auto club. Problem :: solution. No getting angry or upset. Identify the problem; determine the solution. Receive what you are given. Deal with it. Get it handled. (I was immensely grateful that I didn’t get the flat when I was driving the 50 miles to my daughter’s home on a busy freeway. A grace.) A nice young man came out, replaced the flat with the temporary spare, I gave him a tip and went to the dealership.

At the dealership, we examined the tires and determined that I really needed to get all four tires replaced, but I could get by with doing two now and doing the other two at my next service. I also had a headlight that had been out for a month and needed to be replaced. Since it would be a few hours, I took the shuttle home. A couple of hours later, I got a call: the front brake rotors were below minimum and should be replaced. I could just replace the pads for now, though, and do the rotors at my next service. (Let me say here that I absolutely trust my service tech. He’s a great guy, I’ve known him for eight years and I trust him.) One of the suspension bushings was also broken and needed to be replaced. I knew the car had been riding really roughly and had meant to mention this when I brought the car in; now I knew why.

Even with a 5% discount on parts and service, the final total was $1800. I had all new belts, two new tires, new timing belt and tensioner, all new fluids, tire alignment, new headlight, new suspension bushing, new front brake pads … a complete service, head to toe, plus a very nice car wash to boot. It was more money than I’d planned for, but it is what it is. I haven’t had a car payment for six years and I plan on hanging on to my Civic while I save for a new one, so I need to have it well-maintained and safe to drive. I could complain and be upset at the expense, but it doesn’t change anything. I feel that I’m fortunate the tire went flat when it did, I’m fortunate the brakes are better, I’m fortunate the suspension is much better. Receive what you are given. I’ve been given an $1800 bill but I’ve also been given a safe, well-running car. Money well spent.


PS. Thank you to those of you who dropped me notes to check that I was OK since I hadn't posted in a couple of weeks. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness! The new job is an 11-hour day with commute, so it doesn't leave me the time I'd like for reading my favorite blogs and for writing. Hoping that something shifts so I can have a bit more time. Thanks!


Debra She Who Seeks said...

A mechanic you can trust is worth his weight in gold -- hang on to him! BTW, there's a Sunshine Award waiting for you over at my blog on the post of March 16th! And the post you wrote today shows exactly why you deserve it!

Cindy said...

Oh, I love you Rose! Love love love this post! I was JUST having this discussion with my dark stepson (stuck in traffic). I was saying, "when I sit in the city, I look UP at the marvelous architecture!...when on the interstate, I find some strange radio station and try to appreciate different music"...he said, "well yeah.....but, do YOU know how many hours a person spends SITTING in traffic in their lifetime???????" hahahaha! I LOVE that kid!

Laura Hegfield said...

Such a wonderful post Rose. It's so true we can't choose what happens to us, but we can totally work on our attitude and how we receive/accept whatever comes our way. I miss seeing you more online, but then again, I feel so grateful on your behalf that there is a job for you to go to each day...the small blessings are always present in our lives even if they are often balanced with challenges...the important thing as you have expressed well here is to pay attention to the goodness.

gentle steps,

Jan said...

Blessings to you, Rose, you always inspire me and remind me of what matters most. It does seem that trust is all there is....

Glad you are well, safe, and in the flow...xo

dec0r8or said...

Rose, I know I say this all the time to you, but girl, you never cease to amaze me. I want to be you when I grow up! I like to think that I am mostly a positive, upbeat, and optimistic person, but sometimes I forget my blessings and get cranky. I guess I know where to come to when I'm feeling that way--Right over here to your blog! You always manage to make me feel better, and your attitude toward life really cries out for emulation. Thanks for being you!

rebecca said...

ouch! isn't it amazing how quickly the money can add up? But I so like your way of thinking of always looking at the bright side of things. That's the way to go Rose! This post will resonate with me for a long time to come....