Thursday, December 6, 2007

dancing with my Self ...

Golden moments -

You know those times during the week when you are suddenly very consciously aware of how very happy and content you are? When you look up and see the world frozen for a split second and you find your heart simply glowing with happiness?

When it happens, it's as if I'm going through my day, and then someone turns on a beacon of golden light that makes me stop, lift my head from whatever I was occuped with, and take notice with absolute clarity. I breathe. I smile. I AM HAPPY. The feeling floods through me and fills me up. And these golden moments usually happen when I'm with family and friends, the people I love.

This past weekend was filled with those golden moments, lucky girl that I am. On Friday, my friend and dance instructor, X, had a dance mixer at his dance studio. I haven't seen X in a few months, and haven't taken lessons or been in his studio for even longer. In his e-mail about the mixer, he also said that one of my favorite salsa instructors and a good friend, Zuly, would be there, too, and that her salsa performing group would be performing. woo-hoo! I called a friend who wants to learn salsa and needed a night out, picked her up and we went to the studio. I was grinning ear-to-ear the entire time. X always has such great parties; he taught salsa, merengue and cha-cha lessons at various times during the night, he had a fun contest, there was the performance (which was fabulous! Zuly is an outstanding choreographer who uses the entire body so amazingly) - it was non-stop fun, and my friend got her feet wet in learning the basics of latin dance. Plus I ran into several old dance friends!

Saturday night, one of my "forever friends" had a gathering at his place for our group. (Chris, Glenn, Paul and I have been super-tight friends for over 30 years, from way back when we'd hang out with each other every day; a regular sitcom we were.) All I have to do is step into a room with these guys and the beacon comes on and I'm standing there grinning. We have always bantered and teased mercilessly and we haven't stopped yet. Thrust and parry, bob and weave - we'd be in mid-conversation when someone would fling some barb and we'd all be on the floor laughing. Super-smart guys, we can hold an intelligent, well-considered conversation - between bouts of laughter - and enjoy one another's company so much, that the conversation is effortless. We have such a wealth of shared experience together and almost our own shorthand way of being together, that's it's like wearing your favorite pajamas.

Sunday afternoon, my daughter had a combination housewarming party and 30th birthday party. Yes, my munchkin, who looks like she's still 14, is turning 30 today, December 6. This was the first time that her family and her husband's family would be coming out to see their new home. Daughter spent two days cleaning, decorating and cooking and she did a fabulous job, with chili verde, chicken enchiladas, beans and spanish rice, all made from scratch. (Her beans tasted just like my mom's; delicious!) As members of both families were happily jabbering away with one another and eating, I looked at them all and felt so happy. I looked at Daughter, gathering the compliments on her new home, and I was happy.

Each night this week, I've lit my 1st Advent Candle, the candle of Hope. With the rest of the house in darkness and only that small purple candle lit, I've gazed into its flame and talked with my God, peace and contentment filling my heart as I watch the Light flicker against the dark.

In these golden moments, I feel happiness. I also feel complete freedom. Freedom from want, freedom from desire. I want nothing else in this moment; I am not in need. It's just all so perfect. Nothing to add, nothing to subtract. Nothing to do, nothing to undo. I imagine this is partly what Heaven might feel like, where we lack nothing and have no wants or needs.

May you enjoy plenty of golden moments this first week of Advent. Namaste.

9 comments:

Connie said...

Hi Rose,
I love reading your blog. You bring such peace to my soul. Dancing, fellowship with family and friends, love all around you at your DD's house. It just doesn't get any better.

God Bless you dear friend - you always make my day happier and my heart overflow with your gift of words.

Hugs,
Connie

Thotman said...

Rose...you always come and leave such gentle comments...wonderfully postive and always uplifting. As I have read your blogs over the past year I have realized why. What we say is a direct reflection of our deepest yearnings.. As I have read down thru your blogs I find that same sense of calm and quiet that visits me when I am high up in the mountains...or alone in the west desert. I hope this season brings you so much joy and happines. It is clear from your pictures and your posts here that God has blessed you with the very best of life... A sense of who you really are. Merry Christmas to you and all my bestest wishes at this most wonderful time of the year.

Amber said...

Rose, you made me cry in this post. You literally brought me to tears describing your ritual with the Advent candle. Isn't that the true meaning of Christmas and the gift of Christ? Love, joy in the gift of life? You are a gift to us, dear friend. Enjoy your dancing evenings!

dec0r8or said...

I feel as if every time I read one of your posts, I should say "Thank You, Rose." Seriously. Your blog is like a tonic for me...whether it brings tears to my eyes, a smile to my lips, or both. We can all take a lesson from you. Live in the moment. Cherish what IS, and don't covet what ISN'T. Happiness is what you make it. Noone can "give" it to you, or "make" you happy. I'll steal a little quote from Rosalie's post the other day--we all leave footprints on other people's hearts.

C├ęcile said...

Rose, reading this post and the previous one has helped me keep the spirit of the season uppermost in my mind. I'm starting to dread all the preparations for this party next week and I need to reflect on the more important aspects of the season and concentrate on the happy moments. Of course just looking out the window at all that snow helps too. :-)

stewcarol said...

Now I've got goosebumps. The music, the words, the feeling all comes through. Thank you Rose! I NEED AN ADVENT WREATH!! I'm off to fashion one from what I've got on hand. Thanks for the reminder. You're good.

stewcarol said...

Had to report back...went downstairs and there was a stray wreath. Went in an extra drawer, 3 burgandy candles and one red. Now lit on my kitchen table. You are an inspiration Rose. God Bless You.

Anonymous said...

No truer words or sweeter thoughts have been shared as eloquently as these... thank you AGAIN for always expressing things in such a tender, thought provoking way. Love to you Rose.

((hugs))
Kim

Lynn said...

I am so grateful and joyful that you are finding your happiness in every day, Rose. What a blessing you are to so many, a balm for stormy souls, a light for friends who need reminders where the real joy and peace comes: from within one's heart. You always find a way, through your blogs or beautiful loving comments to make every one, especially me, feel warmer, more loved, more peaceful than the moments before you were there.
Thank you, Rose, for being the angelic blessing to me you always are. I am so honored and grateful you are my friend.
I'm SOO SOOO glad you had such a wonderful weekend with so many people you love and enjoy. Many many more for you!